It’s been several years since I even contemplated the thought of returning to a salon to give the Fro some one-on-one action with a stylist. Granted, this was a conscious decision after my strands suffered over 85% heat damage three years ago. And I know that we often joke about trauma like situations when it comes to the health and care of hair, perhaps just relegating the situation to something that’s ‘ no big deal.’ But I’m here to tell you my stress levels were greatly induced each time I looked in the mirror and fretted over how I’d be able to style what appeared to be a broken hair puzzle. So much so that I ended up delving into online forums, youtube videos, then eventually starting this here bloggy blog. It’s been a journey to say the least.

But after experiencing a few personal challenges over the past few weeks, I wanted nothing more than to leave the task of detangling, washing, twisting, setting my hair in the care of someone else. I wanted desperately to be pampered, so I sought the help of a woman who did my first initial BIG CHOP over ten years ago, Debra Ottley of Jelani’s Naturals in New York City.

I went in with a hard core game plan to really just get bangs. It’d been a while since I enjoyed styling & twisting my hair this way & felt more than comfortable with the decision. Yet almost as soon as I sat down in Debra’s chair & she perused my nest, she noticed my no longer hidden frayed ends that were in desperate need of a trim. This was my dirty little hair secret for some time, a fact that I ignored due to….well just plain laziness.

So what was initially supposed to be a blunt bang cut…morphed into an all over, much needed trim with a bit of a compromise, side swept bangs that are neither too long or short – but just right!

Umm….please ignore the lack of ‘focus’ in these pics. A ballsy mosquito invaded my photo session in the sweltering 90 degree heat…this is my controlled peeved look.

Hair did shrink up considerably since Deb styled the twists much smaller than I usually do…and of course, I said goodbye to about 2 inches of hair. I hope to see less single strand knots for some time thanks to the new trim!

I asked Deb what products are on her current rotation, and she couldn’t stop singing the praises of Jane Carter’s line of goodies! She started with the Scalp Renew to remove some my regular dry scalp issues, set me under a dryer for about 15 minutes then rinsed. To twist, she used a very small amount of the Nourish & Shine. The edges of my hair was set with the Wrap & Roll, for a more smooth appearance, and to help prolong the style. My hair smelled incredible after leaving the salon! I truly forgot how lovely this line of products is, not overly bearing, only feminine & pleasant.

I really can’t sing the praises of Jelani’s enough. Deb spent a thoughtful amount of time on my hair, answering any questions I might’ve had (even though I fell asleeeeeep in her chair! shame), and truly being one of those stylists that you come to admire not just for their talent, but respect because of their clientele & reputation. I left the salon with a smile on my face & my spirits completely lifted, the best feeling! I’d absolutely return to her chair if the mood strikes again, sometimes you really can’t beat having another hair professional dote over you.

A few weeks ago I stood in front of my mother’s mirror while visiting her home in Florida, prepping my twists into a pinned up style when she quietly stood next to her sink. She waited as I pushed the last pin into place before asking if I would untwist her strands and fix her fro. Her vanity mirror is quite large, yet my place has always been by the crux of her hip, ready to nudge with an elbow if the urge hit, and because we were talking hair, I inched in a bit closer.

My mother and I have shared numerous rituals over the years that span from heated moments in the kitchen, to hours on the phone gabbing about The Bachelorette. Yet this moment felt different, because she was different. We both stood side by side, still gabbing as I helped fluff her fro, deciding on which new moisturizer to sample, as compared to the last visit where both my father & I counted the minutes on the clock as she pressed her thinning strands with an electric hot comb. On this trip I noticed her desire to want to push past old insecurities which often forced her to mask her kinks with hats & heat.

I understood that after six years of being natural, from the flat ironing, to the redundant texturizers and hot comb sessions, that she was finally able to see her hair through new eyes. She smiled more, slowly became enamored as I paid special care to each coil, and was able to share her joy with me. Aside from accepting her happiness for what it was & encouraging her to further experiment and practice…and, well all the things a ‘good natural’ ought do, I felt proud.

Of course, there are times where I would happily argue about the importance of regarding hair as ‘just hair,’ yet when it comes to my Mum, her happiness and her newfound courage to rock her natural, there is greater power in the actual choice we make to be & stay natural. This is what I’ve come to admire.  Many of us do experience personal growth in ways we were never able to realize. There is strength to be found in making a choice that resonates at the core of who we strive to become.

Protect your beliefs, your ideals and your reasons for going natural by reinforcing them. If you are afraid to take that leap and let the world see you, the real you….do it anyway.  The understanding of course is that it will be difficult. You have emotional hurdles to measure up to and ideals to overcome. But remember to do it anyway. If time is what you need, take it before it runs out. If it’s fear that is holding you back, walk through it…if not once, twice…three times, but it’s important to keep walking with a goal in mind, and that is to visibly see yourself through your eyes, no one else’s.

Let it be known, that I am not a person who condones violence of any kind….even when it’s in straight defense of one’s natural hair. I know…I KNOW! What’s the big deal if someone…a stranger even, decides they want a piece of your FRO action? Who wouldn’t want to explore the many textures and folds of our strands. Of course, this is one of those topics that can easily excite a heated debate no matter your stance, but for once I was excited to put the verbal defense gloves down and have a good laugh…at my expense no less. A few days ago I stumbled upon this hilarious vid from the talented Renee Threatte, an actor/singer/dancer & overall fun person to watch. Inspired by the Kim Coles & CurlyNikki Grow Out Challenge, Renee decided to put her own spin on the traditional ‘HairStory’ and share this awesome sketch with the curly haired community!

Hairstory from Cue Black Girls on Vimeo.

Check out more from Cue Black Girls by clicking here and stay up to date by visiting their Facebook Page.

Apparently I’ve been in an experimenting kind of mood lately. A few weeks ago I layed down some dough for my first hair steamer (review to come!), committed to the idea to get me some BANGS..(it’s been too long…) and last week found me staring into the eyes of my most recent purchase from LUSH, their Jungle Conditioner…which if you haven’t noticed comes in a solid form.

This was my first encounter with a solid conditioner, which I would’ve loved to compare to my previous uses with shampoo bars…but alas,  trial and error is always the name of the game. For such a small piece of condish, it’s loaded with a bevy of ingredients ideal for curly textured hair. Avocado, Cocoa Butter,  Bananas, and a newbie to the family…Kumquats. This fruit is loaded with vitamin C, calcium and provides a ton of antioxidants to the hair.

Before using a solid conditioner on curly hair…it’s really best to approach it with a strategy. How much are you going to use? How are you going to apply it? How will you store any remaining bits after you’re done? 

The easiest way to use the LUSH Jungle Conditioner is to divide the block into workable, moldable sections. Using a sharp edged knife, cut away a portion you think will suffice for your hair, place your condish in a microwave safe bowl and add about 2 – 4 tablespoons of warm water. With the back of a spoon, melt the block until you reach a desired consistency. The final result should form a creamy paste that’s easily applied to hair.

It really is important to get the consistency to a point where it’s easy to apply, this should make detangling more of a breeze. Adding more water to your mix should increase the ‘slip quotient’ but go sparingly, you don’t want a watery mess (if this happens, simply add just a smidge more Jungle).

It took me quite a bit of time to run the product through my strands (blame it on 1st time usage), but after hair was sufficiently coated, I DC’d using my new Huetiful Steamer. I didn’t know what to expect from either the steamer OR the Jungle condish, but my hair revealed some pretty awesome results.

Freshly rinsed & the hair achieved clumped curls where there hardly ever is much of anything! The front end of the hair is typically the straightest, often needing a bit of coaxing to curl…especially the ends during twisting, yet I was pretty happy to see a bit of twirly action. You can purchase the small block of Jungle Condish for about $8 (2 oz size), & depending on the length of hair should last you a few wash sessions.  I’d even say it’s pretty ideal for those in TWA status & need a quick condition during co-washing. Just grab a small bit of Jungle Condish, smoosh between fingers using warm water, and that’s it!