A few years ago I’d often look forward to the dead of winter, and anticipate the luxury of finally booking a salon appointment with my favorite hair stylist just a few short blocks from my home. I’d discreetly wrap my 7 day old misshapen bushy fro with the nearest bandana, tie it securely & walk (often as late as 11 p.m.) the incognito route to the doors of said stylist, breathing weekly deeeeeep sighs of relief as she washed, blow dried, flat ironed & bumped my ends with curls. This was my winter hair routine for many years long before words such as, ‘heat protectant,’ ’porosity’ & ‘curl pattern’ ever entered my vernacular. I was the ‘veteran’ natural girl with limited knowledge, who thought she knew it all…but ended up discovering  the hard way that taking care of one’s natural hair meant more than simply ‘dealing’ with it.

With 8+ years of being natural under my belt, evidently I still knew very little on how to care for my kinks & curls; and my yearly droves during winter to get them straightened reflected this lack of knowledge. For some naturals, the rite of passage in learning the wants and needs of your hair varies from a few years to right out of the gate. Mine came after experiencing the fraught filled moment known as irreversible heat damage. There was a lot. Too much in fact to casually ignore & hope a heavy duty $40 deep conditioner treatment could fix.

For several weeks I was in denial, threw a few pity parties and invited no one I knew because of the embarrassment. My hair looked wretched! With 90% heat damage overtaking my once pristine head of natural hair, I was at a loss as to how or what went wrong. I became worried that’d I’d been played the fool by my friend/stylist each week after shelling out $60+ dollars, and accepting the then much appreciated compliments while hair was blown straight, fancy & flowing.

Today, it’s a familiar woeful tale & one I’ve seen played out continually on many blogs, forums & even YouTube… though back then I lacked the necessary tools to manage my own negligence.

Inevitably a decision was made though, rather than place blame on the person who took hot comb to kink and obliterated years of growing from a TWA to Fro-ish glory…instead I took charge by investing more than just $$ into my hair…I slowly began to trade in ignorance for knowledge.

It’s been a two year long journey of snipping, trimming, deep conditioning and learning how to properly care for my hair, but this was my turning point. After 8 years of thinking one had to ‘deal’ with natural hair, I unknowingly graduated to the proper place of appreciating my new texture & slowly slid into the driver’s seat of my natural hair journey. This was always my proper place, though it took setbacks, misinformation and lack of confidence to fully come to this understanding.

I was finally able to understand that even the most effortless of hair styles…whether it’s worn out & free formed or laid down in micro two-strand twists…requires a special care & more than blind visits to the hair salon. Over coming heat damage was my gateway to accepting what it is I had to do, to not only love my hair for what it is, but care for in a way that enables it to thrive…and also, have fun experimenting with different styles!

Today I have a much greater appreciation for hair stylists who do engage their clients on the basics of maintaining a healthy head of naturally textured hair. At this point in the game, it’s essential. It’s a partnership when you walk into a salon. Make sure they listen to what it is you want & please don’t let them sway you into doing something that makes you uncomfortable. It only took 8 years…8 years & 1 crucial setback which forced me to hide under hats and slicked back buns…but thankfully it also unveiled the now important practical, everyday lessons that have helped me to appreciate my kinks, curls and new compliments laced with…“How’d you get your Fro so big?”

I don’t care what anyone says or how long I’ve been on this natural hair scene, it still continues to be a fun, revealing journey that enables me to learn…I love it. The wintry weather that’s been bombasting this side of the east coast has shown me just how ‘protective’ this woman can be when it comes to wearing her fro out in public. Now, I understand that one of the first things a natural haired femme proclaims once embarking on this journey is….“Moi? I’m no scared of no stinkin rain…let it pour!”

Yeah, no. Or…only to a certain extent. I refuse to sit back and ‘let’ rain, sleet, snow derange all the hard work I put into washing my growing locs each week…it just ain’t gonna happen. A woman still lives with the fear of pneumonia, cold chills, unladylike sniffles…etc. I applaud those who dare to wear their Fro proudly…in the face of 6-12 inch steady snow/rain accumulations (as I’ve seen many do sans hat attire this past week)…but, iCan’t. Because of the weather the hair’s been in medium sized twists for the past two three weeks, pinned up/away/to the side…then down again to preserve it’s future sexy.

Products Used:

• Scalp Pre-Poo: Hot Oil Coconut/Tea Tree Oil Treatment
• Hair/Scalp Cleanse: Carol’s Daughter Curl Perfecting Shampoo
• Deep Condition: Darcy’s Botanicals Deep Conditioning Mask
• Style: KBB Hair Ambrosia + EO’s Weightless Moisture Leave-In Conditioner
• Seal: KBB Hair Cream

While hair’s in twists, going to the tried and true claw clip to keep it up and off my neck for a cute up-do.

Because I’ve trained myself to be a 7-day haired gal, wearing hair loose during otherwise unfriendly weather conditions is an automatic no-go. I’ve lamented about this in the past, but…hey, past alternatives have left me re-moisturizing/drying/styling hair at 10pm on an average Wednesday/workday ….& this path I refuse to visit. During the winter months…give me your favorite page-turning novel to get lost in or a long luxuriating shower with some of my favorite body scrubs. These things…yes, this is what I’ve learned to love when Fro isn’t fully ‘available.’

*How do you guys wear you hair during wintry weather?*

:here’s mine:

I began implementing the ultimate hair game plan in light of my newfound quest for healthier hair, with length retention. A few weeks ago I took pen to paper & began to slowly outline my approach, which would include minor alterations to my current routine. Nothing major, yet practicing and improving on a few techniques and committing to an even better deep conditioning practice is a top priority.

What I’ll focus on: Deep Conditioning

Once a week I’m committed to applying a DC to my hair for a minimum of 1hr.

• 1 Henna Gloss
• 1 Bentonite Clay/(mixed with varied essential oils, ACV etc.)
• 1 Rhassoul Clay Treatment (still deciding on the Anita Grant block or purchasing the clay from another retailer)
• 1 Freebie pass at a nourishing deep conditioner from either past favorites (Curl Rehab, Dacry’s Deep Conditioning Mask, etc.) or new ones that’ve been on the ‘get’list for a while
• **possible investment** Hair Steamer. The Huetiful Steamer has been on my radar for some time, & I’m strongly considering investing

Cleansing: More focus on Scalp with a Hot Oil Pre-Poo

A while ago, I began applying a Hot Oil Pre-Poo to the scalp using Coconut Oil/Vatica Oil/Lavender Essential Oil – and this has worked great! Worked in using the pads of my fingers & left in for 15minutes under a conditioning cap, and my scalp has experienced less dryness/tightness and hardly any flakes.

Been using the Denman Be-Bop Shampoo Brush to help with detangling while in the shower, and hair has been reacting VERY well. So, to keep with consistency It’s going into the weekly routine. I’ve also upgraded to a bigger, widder tooth comb after the last one broke.

*If you’ve noticed a bit more resistance with detangling as your hair gets longer, try switching to a different, better more durable detangling comb that is seamless with a good handle. I’ve had easier detangling sessions after switching…BUT, a woman is still curious about this dang Tangle Teezer!? Reviews across the board have been favorable, even from a few women with coarse/thick/curly hair…so. (it’s an option:)

Since focusing more on deep conditioning/detangling – the use of a few styling products will have less of a focus. Meaning, more consistency & not switching from a butter moisturizer—>pudding—->styling cream—->gel—->etc. This is mostly to keep myself sane & more focused on the goal.

Stylers:

• Leave-In Conditioner (KBB Hair Nectar/Sweet Ambrosia  ) +
• Conditioner (EO’s Moisture Rich/EO’s Everyday Leave-In Weightless Moisture)

Giving myself a bit of leeway as far as products used to seal in moisture and help maintain a 7-day hair for the nightly routine. Leaning more towards products that are light in consistency (KBB’s Hair Cream) so as not to accumulate too much buildup on the scalp. Recently tried Anita Grant’s Whipped Butter & hair very much approves! A small amount emulsified into your hands imparts crazy shine & seals in moisture…#win!

Will I be undergoing protective styling? Still playing this by ear. Hair has been in twists for the past 3 weeks due to colder temps and really no other reason. With colder air, and windier conditions I tend to experience far more tangles and dryness. SO…I’m thinking 3-4 days in twists, followed by 5-7 days of a fab twistout (might also get up the nerve to try a rollerset).

And that.is.all! I’m certain to stumble upon a few minor tweaks down the line, but for now…focusing more on deep conditioning/taking care of the scalp/practicing better detangling/more consistency = healthier hair (?) ( it better!)

Here’s to kicking off this chilly weekend on a positive note! My recent Guest Post from BGLH:

{how GORGEOUS is this}

Do you ever give yourself a pat on the back in light of how far you’ve come in your natural journey? Truthfully, some may sneer and balk at the idea of a natural femme spending several hours dotting on her tresses, taking the extra care to detangle, twist & style…but this simple act, over time adds up to such a greater accomplishment. Thinking back to when I was younger, growing up with a mother who brushed, combed and greased my hair regularly…I rarely if ever saw a grown woman care for her natural hair. This perhaps wasn’t the norm back in the early 80’s, but it was such a rarity that another person had to convince me it was true.

The dolls I carried around as a child were similar to me in likeness…but to a fault. Thanks to PJ sparkles I understood that in order to be/feel pretty, I had to dress in pink, rock a pink bow cocked to one side and grow long silky black hair.

And I did. Until I dared for something more and sought change where even my own mum felt uncomfortable in exploring. It starts off slow…and progressively, the anticipation grows when you realize that natural hair does not have to be banned from anyone’s life. It does not have to be shammed for what it is, what it can nurture and grow into as we get older. There is in fact life after pigtails and ribbons adorned in perfect symmetry.

And while I sometimes wish these lessons were taught to me at an earlier age…it’s more than fine to explore and learn these lessons today. I’m thankful, grateful and encouraged each day that the natural hair community gets stronger, bolder and thrives! This is not about showing pride per say…but more so acknowledging a job well done. I started from bare bones…no support system. A mother and father who, rather than understand, relegated my decisions to fits of crazy. Close friends nicknamed me Chia Pet, laughed behind my back and often to my face saying…”you’re too old to be wearing your hair that way.”

When you’ve come to hear it all, ironically you don’t care at all…anymore. Perseverance is a strong alliance in this journey and without it I’d be lost. When I mention to other newly naturals that my first Big Chop was over 10 years ago, rarely do I mention the void that existed back then. It’s where I was…how it all started. And yet, often this is how the most inspiring, sustainable journeys begin. From nothing but inspiration & determination we’re able to witness a growing movement so strong, I’m often taken aback at how far we’ve all come in this journey. As a collective, it’s humbling to see how much we’re willing to learn daily, weekly in order to care for our tresses…to help persevere that knowledge for our now future generations.

Of course this is more than just about hair. It’s about respect, and saying I acknowledge all that you do in order to persist in this journey each day. It’s also, more than anything…encouragement, so rather than look at how far you’ve yet to go, instead be thankful and appreciate all that you’ve already accomplished.

This has got to be, hands down my favorite find of the week courtesy of a little blog perusal over at Sociology of Sheena. I could be late to the game (as per usual) but an amazing web series for woman with naturally textured hair…that is FUN, entertaining and leaves you wanting more is at our fingertips!

“Living No Lye” is a weekly series dedicated to educating, empowering and connecting the natural hair community.  The mission is to create a new social and information center for all those involved in the natural hair movement.”

Please check it out if you have time or bookmark for later reading/viewing enjoyment! I think it’s still so very important to acknowledge woman who put forth such an amazing effort to teach and support the growing natural hair community! A lot of our favorite hair ‘gurus’ have been featured, including Naptural85, Sheena, & Afrobella. This weekend will find me more indoors than out & I’ll be making a special effort to catch up on old episodes.

*What do you guys think?*

*there is a video embedded in this post. Please click on link to view on blog*

My Fro has unapologetically taken a few days of sabbatical in light of the craptastic weather we’ve been experiencing here on the east coast. Snow, sleet, rain…and dem s’more snow left me with the only lazy alternative, twist hair and keep under wraps until the coast…and sky are clear. In the meantime though, great reads abound on the nets, a lot pertanining to healthy hair practices and a few other gems that have inspired me to push ahead & onward for the new year.

• JC from The Natural Haven blog teamed up with the fabulous Laquita to explore The Actual Science Behind the Most Talked About Ingredients.  This article is a great eye opener if you’ve been confused on the ‘what’s good’ what’s ‘not good’ arena of the natural hair world, JC covers the top 5, including the pro/cons of mineral oil & sulfates.
• I’ve been a fan of Coconut Oil & it’s many uses for about 3 years running, & my favorite benefit thus far is how it helps in maintaining a healthy scalp. A few great tips & recipes here for those experiencing an itchy scalp or dandruff due to winter dryness.

“There are several benefits to using coconut oil on your hair. Virgin Coconut oil has antibacterial, antifungal, and antiparasitic properties that can help with many scalp problems such as dandruff. It can also aid in length retention because it strengthens hair strands and helps to keep them from breaking.”

• Is Natural Hair for everyone? Is it a choice? I’ve digressed enough times…but this article takes it a few steps further. In my mind I’ve always felt that 10 years ago I made the conscious decision to return to a natural state (as far as hair of course…). But the initial ‘choice’ to relax & the implications behind it…are we not willing to discuss this? I dunno…or maybe I do, but doubt it matters anymore.
• Anyhoot…aside from the random negativity, I still love to love the natural hair community. You can read about that lurv here.
• I’ve been undergoing a mental shift in several areas of my life lately, and reading this article by Tara from Scoutie Girl is helping to put a myriad of things into perspective. Pocketing small lessons to create even bigger dreams is a fair goal for 2011..

“Just because your needs change and evolve does not negate their importance.”

• Recently signed up for a few reading challenges this year in hopes of reigniting a past love. Brown Girls Speaks is a neat one if you’re interested in discovering & reading works from people of color. Currently on the nightstand is, When & Where I Enter by Paula J. Giddings…as suggested by Tami From What Tami Said for her own Black Feminist Book Club. Still enough time to sign up for either! If you’ve recently read a book that is ‘unputdownable’ please share! Always looking for new finds…
• Antigua…Barbuda. All in that order. Why? I’m turning 30 this year and…well I’m just sayin. A woman intends to make a few dreams come true:-).