Is it really hard?  Honestly…I’m playing investigator Chai for one day, and I need to know…is it really THAT hard to care for natural hair?  Is the ‘pouf’ factor intimidating enough to steer most onto easy street…a.k.a., relaxer road?  I’ve never labeled myself as a natural pusha, or what’s been oddly called the “natural Nazis,” syndrome, but I am one of the only two women in my family who’s sporting her natural hair…the other is my proud Mum;-).

A conversation with a friend this afternoon got the wheels turning after she expressed to me that she’d be getting her hair done later in the week, it’d been several months since she’d last relaxed and felt it was time to touch up.  We’d both been down this road before, more so since I started blogging about my hair, yet the road is far from straight…it’s mostly circular.  I’d try to drop tiny hints about the WONDERS of being natural, and the misconceptions that are often thrown about when it comes to caring for a thicker texture, yet the fruits of my tiny labor typically bear zero.  It’s nothing I bemoan about, truthfully I’ve lived by the motto “DO YOU” for most of my adult life, and find it serves many purposes. So while I’m not a ‘pusher’ per se, I do not mind saying that I am a natural hair enthusiast…or informant.  In fact, I do have several friends who are relaxed… actually it’d be more fair to say I have just one friend who is natural and she’s only recently BC’d a month or two ago.  Over the years if one or two had questions about my hair, I was all up in there with an answer, explaining my routine and asking if this might be an avenue they’d like to explore.

Over the years, the only friend I’ve managed to convince was my own mother, who after 20+ years decided to abandon the relaxer because her hair was thinning excessively.  Bottom line, with the slight push from her doctor she finally decided to transition. My Mum has had her own struggles adjusting to being natural, yet to label her transition hard, or difficult…I’m still not sure.  Her frustrations clearly showed from time to time, most often when she’d complain about the actual thinness of her hair as compared to the thick mane she used to sport back in the 70’s during the fro revolution.  Her hair texture was different now, though still curly, it lacked fullness, a bit of luster and length.

Newly natural, my mother did experiment with a myriad of hair products, a lot that I’d personally recommended to her, others she’d pick up as pocketed suggestions from ladies & stylists at her hair salon.  Most gave her the ‘look’ she sought, but what she ultimately desired was to appear ‘acceptable’ with a sleek look that usually bordered on a post-texturized do.  She wanted to be natural without having to look natural. It might sound odd to say, but I’ve come to believe that in the early stages of my Mum’s BC, she was stuck in a state of transition.  There was no immediate ‘knowing’ of how to care for her hair, especially granted the 20+ years of being relaxed.  Products that she’d often use on her relaxed her, she could no longer apply to her new texture.  This was only part of her problem.  Guidance is a virtue in the natural hair community, yet the advice my Mum sought was from tired stylists who dared not take a comb to section or part.  The only answer was to texturize and pay the tip.

It’s been several years now, and my Mum is still natural, and as far as I can tell has no plans on relaxing.  Over time, the thinness of her hair has waned, the familiar thickness of her hair has slowly come back. And while her length is no longer as she remembered it many years ago, her current short fro suits her personal style…it’s easier for her to get on with the day while washing and go’ing to and fro in the Florida heat.

Was it hard..though? Similar to most other transitions in life, there were adjustments to be made and random advice to be thrown about…some discarded others tucked away for safe keeping.  Yet while transitioning has it’s hurdles…whatever you want to call ‘now,’ where a lot of naturals currently are…post natural…whathaveyou…I’d reference it to anything but hard.  The ‘ease’ that my friend is looking forward to later this week after getting her relaxer, is the same ease I wake up to every morning while taking down my silk scarf.  The once a week ‘Process’ I undergo is tedious at best…but let me pat myself on the back for a minute and say…I’ve had this ‘Process’ down pat for some time.  I jive to my own music in my own place, instead of waiting upwards of 1 hour – 3 hours for an ‘expert’ to dish on what she/he thinks looks good.

I was no fool though, the ‘ease’ did not come naturally, what I scramble through each Sunday has taken time, effort, patience but most importantly the knowledge of how to care for something that’s inherently delicate.  These days I do not solicit other relaxed women to join the natural team, but if you ask…or have mixed perceptions that turn my own experiences on their head, I can’t help but mumble something to a certain affect of… ‘here’s how it really is…’

I could be old school in my thinking, the first time I went natural was in 2001 long before brands such as Kinky Curly, Miss Jessie’s or Curl Junkie were as familiar as they are today.  But what I do have is my own experience, the years, sweat & $$ I’ve put into caring for this mop.  I’m rambling now because…well it does go that deep, it’s something I can’t help.  It is just hair… sometimes though it’s not, it really can’t be.

Happy Friday/end of Summer!! I know it’s only the ‘unofficial’ end of Summer, but the eerie calm of my Subway ride into work today, told me something else. Cheers though for long weekends! I’m not sure the historical aspects of Labor Day, but I’ll be more than happy to give thanks to whoever implemented the holiday. That lovely day off always seems to come just at the right time…but really when is a day off never the ‘right time?’

Anywho, while this weekend caps off a shift in seasons…kids are back in school, co-workers return from their long vacations in the hills, I’m planning on returning my hair to a simpler style. Tomorrow, rather than Sunday I’ll wash/style the hair into two strand twists that will hopefully last until Monday or Tuesday evening. I’ll be making smaller twists that allow me to pin the hair up, down, in a pony or what have you…the versatility of twists are endless, and that’s why I luv em!. The only change will be in my styler, which will be a gel/cream base rather than my go-to stash because I want a longer lasting hold. Haven’t used a gel to twist my hair in…I’d say well over a year or so. I did use Darcy’s Botanicals Natural Coils Curling Jelly to shingle, but doubt it will give me the natural hold to last several days. So my options have opened! Which makes me excited because I must run to Ricky’s BSS and peruse their selections, something I haven’t done in a while. If the twists come out decent, which I’m hoping they will if I’m spending more than an hours time on them… I’ll post pics. In the past I’ve used the Jamaican Mango Lime gel with fantastic results, my only gripe was the size of the jar! Teeny tiny for the price, especially at Ricky’s, so I’m thinking a trip to the outer boroughs to stock up  will be in order.  I’ve also used IC Fantasia gel to twist, but found it left my hair significantly dry the following day, which I found odd because I sampled both the Olive Oil formula & the Color Treated formula.

If you ladies have any suggestions for gels, drop me a line! I’ll be perusing some Youtube channels and blogs to see what’s worked for whom and why before I make my run to the BSS;-)

Today though is a co-worker’s B-day in my office, and we’re off to celebrate! Tonight we’ll be taking in the show HAIR on Broadway, a musical that’s gotten amazing reviews since it premiered last summer in Central Park’s theatre. My budget has been bound tight lately, but I splurged for a good time knowing it’d be much needed.  I don’t know any of the words to any of the songs, but it’s all about energy…right?  I don’t know, I’m sure they’ll be a diddy or two that rings familiar, here’s hoping;-).

*I’m off for the next couple days, so no posts until Tuesday.  Hope everyone’s holiday is a safe and relaxing one!!

oooo...whee..!!

When in doubt, reach for the Hair Milk.  That’s sort of been my hair philosophy, particularly during those parched days, hair lacking moisture and you need to stretch the do out for just one more day before the wash.  I don’t know exactly what it is…though I have my theories, that a ‘milk’ caressing my tresses will make all the frizzy dry blues go away.  I’m an addict of the Hair Milk and will be devout for any/and all brands….granted they meet my rock solid check list of hair do’s and don’ts.   After experimenting with Carol’s Daughter and their Hair Milk during my second BC, I knew I’d found love…save for the change in formula some time down the road.  What it’s really all about: adequately hydrating, moisturizing when needed and versatile enough to use on either wet or dry hair. 

During my last haul, I took another chance with a hair milk, this one by Darcy’s Botanicals.  The Peach Kernel Hydrating Milk is a thick, creamy milk bath for your hair, that will naturally moisturize and enhance curls while hair is wet, and hydrate dry hair for optimal styling.  My intial try with the milk, was as a leave-in under the Madagascar Vanilla Creme rather than the Lemongrass Detangling Creme. Both work well in layering with a heavier styling product, yet the Peach Kernel did a better job in defining the curls before adding anything over.

WHAT’S IN IT?

Distilled Water, Organic Aloe Juice, Peach Kernel Oil, Organic Coconut Oil, Organic Jojoba, Emulsifying Wax, Vegetable Glycerin, Yarrow, Sage, Horsetail, Nettle, & Lavender Extracts, MSM, a paraben-free preservative and fragrance

While it works better than average as a regular leave-in, it’s more of a benefit to use it as a weekly substitute when hair is excessively dry and craving moisture. Lately it’s been my go-to styler at night to calm away the day’s frizz & to retwist the hair.  In the mornings I unravel to much softer hair, and add maybe just a dime size amount to some of the ends, particularly the parts that tend to graze my collar or shoulder because they lack the most moisture. 

HOW DO I USE IT?

Apply just a small amount throughout wet or dry hair for healthy conditioning and moisture.

*Use to gently soften and detangle new growth while transitioning to natural hair .

*Use it as a daily or weekly leave-in to naturally condition dry curls & waves.

 While a lot of the products I generally use to style my hair come with the saying,’apply just a small amount,’ I’m very happy to report that this is very much the case with this hair milk! Surprisingly, it’s rich creamy texture merits only a smidge to soften the hair. The 8oz bottle is generous in a pump applicator making distributing the product relatively easy.  So rather than continue to use it as a leave-in, I’m going to opt instead to use it as a weekly replenisher when the hair is feeling a bit dry….perfect for the upcoming winter weather!!

*Use to add much needed moisture to parched curls.

*Can use to do comb coils.

*Can also double as a body lotion!

If you fear the smell of peaches, this may not be for you.  While the smell is present while applying, it does linger for a day or two unless it’s paired with another product.  This is a definite repurchase for next Darcy haul. Lysandra has amazing customer service, well known for adding an extra sample goodie in your box to make you smile and at $12, the price is reasonable.

This past weekend, as much of a blur as it was, allowed me to bring it all back to the idea of keeping it simple. Time was not on my hands as far as the hair went, yet ingenuity and carefully placed hair pins were lovely substitutes! Simple is as simple does & Sunday found me little time to start early and end early with my hair.  Instead, I did a rushed co-wash with Trader Joe’s Refresh Citrus Conditioner fortified with Vitamin C, a nice creamy/thick conditioner ideal for quick co-washes…and for 2.99 ya can’t beat the price! Nixed on Poo’ing the hair or DC’ing, and headed straight for styling with Darcy’s Botanicals Vanilla Styling Creme.  No leave-in conditioner this week simply because it would’ve taken my hair double the time to dry.  Twisted with the Creme while removing any extra moisture, and blow dried on a low setting until the twists were still slightly damp, yet still holding their shape.  Instead of separating the twists, I loosely gathered each undone twist into a back bun.  Gathered on the top, and then on the bottom, I pinned my damp hair and walked out the door.

The bonus to this method, was my hair’s ability to air dry while walking and carouseling through the city.  Reaching home later that night, my hair was fully dry, unfrizzy and still well moisturized because the twists were held securely in place by a dozen or so stratigically placed bobby pins. My only regret was not taking pics of my updo! Typically, my hair is worn out and loose, I think what’s really my signature coif as of late.  Yet Sunday was cuteness with the up-do! Next time for sure, and their WILL be a next time…I’ll take pics to document what I know my hair is capable of, a slightly more sophisticated look.  Sometimes a girl just has to try;-).

Without DC’ing or using a Leave-in this week, my night routine did change.  Instead of piling the hair atop my head with a scrunchie or making two puffs on each side of my head, I opted to twist the hair at night, adding a small amount of Darcy’s Peach Kernel Hydrating Milk to the hair, especially concentrating on the ends.  Twisting for Monday was easy, and the hair held up much better than expected.  Tuesday I repeated the process, but instead turned it into a Curly Fro by twisting then using foam rods at the ends. Rather than having spirals well throughout, my hair formed loose, well moisturized waves with loads of body and shine!

To follow up for the rest of the week, I plan to twist nightly and continue to hydrate with the hair milk.  So while this weekend was a bit of a blur, it was AMAZINGLY fun! If you were in NYC, perhaps you were LIVE at Spike Lee’s MJ party in Prospect park?! I had work during the day…unfortunately, but have friends and co-workers who’ve sworn to a good time! My highlight came after work, attending the Q-tip bash in Times Sqaure celebrating MJ’s birthday with DJ Spinna and DJ Ronson.  I really did have one of the best, high energy nights in a LOOOooong time.  Nonstop MJ music…a few Q-tip throwbacks…cuz, of course he’s the host/MC, and great friends made the night truly special.  I came out of the Nokia Theatre with a Halo of frizz and sweaty pits, but I’d do it allllll again;-)

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